Restoring the Heart
- Daily Word – Sept. 3, 2018
Today is the birthday of my granddaughter Pfeiffer Cameron Owens. She turns 2 wonderful years today. God in His vast wisdom formed this baby girl as a special “I love You’ across my heart. She is the cherry on top of our three precious grandsons.
When I experienced the loss of our son Cameron, it took all desire of laughing, decorating the house for fall, Christmas, anything that Cameron enjoyed, I felt I couldn’t enjoy. The hole was huge, the hurt to deep.
Right after our loss I heard God tell me to laugh. He said healing was in laughter. I borrowed a stack of Christian comedian cds from a friend. I would lie down at night and cry while I listened to the comedy on my cd player. I eventually began to laugh again. It was a slow process. There are demons you fight in a loss that are unique to having a loved one ripped out of your life.
There was still no desire to celebrate the change of the seasons, especially Christmas. God blessed us with our first grandson and the shell of mourning started to crack open. Then we had our second and third grandsons and the ability to enjoy the seasons was restored. This grandma had life again! There was a reason to celebrate. God knew exactly what I needed. Christmas is now so very important to me, the excitement of that time of year is once again one of my favorites times of the year. Payten, Knox, and Lennox brought so much healing to me. Just to set and hold them does my heart good.
So I am now restored to the point of enjoying the seasons and thanking God for my grandsons. I know I am partial but I think they are the most handsome boys ever! Then one day my son walked into my house and said, “What is this?” He laid a doctor’s visit summary on my table. I looked at it and said “What? Did they over charge you?” He said “No, read it.” It told me I was going to have another grandchild! I was so excited! I believe God called Cameron into the room in heaven where children are picked to be sent down here. I believe they discussed things and decided, “Yes, let’s send Mom a baby girl to hug and squeeze, one that will bring great joy, one that likes to laugh out loud”. See I believe when my baby girl laughs out loud, she is really laughing at Satan. He sought to steal, kill and destroy but God turn ashes into beauty!
Healing comes, sometimes its slow, but just breathe in and out. Hold on to God. He is the only steady ground in the spin of loss. Your sun will shine again, you will laugh and your heart will be whole. Yes I still cry. Sometimes I break down for the smallest reason, a song, a young man that favors Cam walks by, but I can live again all because I have a Father who loves me. God has shown His comforting hand time after time. Let Him bring healing to your heart. He is a good God.
- Pastor Belinda